Skip to main content

My Season, Your Season, Our Friendship

My cousin recently shared a personal thought on Facebook that really resonated with me. She shared the well known verses in Ecclesiastes 3.

1. To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven:
2. A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;
3. A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
4. A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
5. A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together, a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
6. A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
7. A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
8. A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.

Then pointing out the beautiful individuality in each of our lives she said, (I've slightly paraphrased) "Everyone is at different points in life and in need of different people and blessings. What I need is often different from what you or anyone else needs. It's important to understand someone and their 'season' of life. Once we do, then we gain everlasting friendships."

This was profound to me. What really struck me was the fact that she tied in friendships. That's where the scripture jumped out at me this time. And so, for the first time ever, I've found myself using these verses to analyze myself as a friend. One of the easiest ways to make a friend is by simply "being in the same season" as the other person. It seems to be harder to make a friend from a person who is experiencing something I know nothing about. Or who is passionate about something of which I am ignorant. I may never 'plant' and you may never 'gather stones together'. But does that even matter? No, not really. Not when we get past the superficial differences of the actual experience and unite in the work we both put in to endure each season. I thought of Bonnie L. Oscarson who said, "If there are barriers, it is because we ourselves have created them. We must stop concentrating on our differences and look for what we have in common; then we can begin to realize our greatest potential and achieve the greatest good in this world."

My season is not your season. We may pass through similar seasons at the same time, or maybe at different times. Or I may never experience a season that you know intimately. And vice versa. But goodness! we all have seasons. We're all given a time and a purpose. Our trials and blessings have a time and a purpose. I don't know the things you go through in each part of your life. Even if I know of your story, I don't know it personally the way that you do. That package of experiences are unequivocally yours. Just like mine are mine. They are unique to both of us, but they are both purposeful. And just knowing that takes the preconceived notions I may make about people right out of the equation.

I have learned this before. I know everyone is different, everyone undertakes different things, needs different things, is blessed with different gifts. But I just learned it over again, and I learned it a little deeper. Everyone experiences heartbreak and joy, triumph and failure, boredom and adventure. Just because it isn't the same heartbreak or same triumph or the same adventure doesn't mean we can't embrace our sameness. Because we all have experience with 'seasons' in general. And that is something we can all understand.

So we can still be friends right!? Even with our seasonal differences? I would love that. I would love to be a better friend, a better visiting teacher, a better person to interact with, a better follower of Christ.

I think when I stop coveting someone else's easy season against my strained one (and stop worrying about those who may do the same to me); when I stop worrying about my inexperience to befriend someone with completely unfamiliar circumstances; when I pray for the strength to appreciate the good, endure the bad, and minister to those of differing 'goods' and 'bads'; those 'everlasting friendships' my cousin talked about start to happen. Because then as a friend (and potential friend) I will be better able to lift and to comfort. I become more likely to be lifted and be comforted. I will stop making the snap judgments that are so detrimental to love and kindness. In doing so, I can become more like Christ.

And I can't think of a better Friend to emulate.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ice Cream Scoops

The other night I found an ice cream scoop underneath my pillow. Thankfully it was clean. However, I sure didn't put it there. I'm not  that  sleep deprived. When I walked out to the kitchen to put it away, I noticed our plastic ulu hanging from a light switch. I sighed and grabbed it too, then threw them both in the drawer. Honestly, it's amazing I can find anything when I need it. Raising four children is more miracle than I could ever hope to deserve; but sometimes, in my less than ideal moments, I feel the chaos that comes with it is more thorn than rose. My life is full of half eaten pudding cups tipped over on the table, blanket booby traps of death in the middle of the kitchen floor, thoughtful heart shaped notes glued (think Elmer's) to my bedroom walls and ice cream scoops underneath my pillow. This is called "entropy". Here, I'll save you the trouble of looking it up. Entropy: the unavailability of a system's energy to be converted int...
1 comment
Read more

For My Sisters

I've been a sister almost all of my life, but I'm only just starting to realize the importance of that relationship. And you, my sisters, have been on my mind a lot lately. (And there's a lot of you, even not including the in-laws, friends, Relief Society, and roommates that become sisters too.) I sometimes feel a little bummed because I'm so far away from all of you. I am out of the loop when it comes to the day to day and week to week goings ons of your lives. I don't get to talk to you or get to know you as easily as I'd like. But I am grateful for Facebook and the fact that our mutual parents keep me up to date on the important things. I watch you on social media. I think about you, I pray for you. And there are things I wish I could tell you. But it would be completely awkward to just grab your face the next time I see it and say emphatically what it is I want to say (not to mention the time consuming-ness of that endeavor to each individual face), so I...
Post a Comment
Read more

Saints and Sinners

We had Stake (or a regional) Conference at church last weekend. I generally love these conferences. But that weekend I found the exhortation to be better exhausted me more than it should have. I feel a little ashamed to even admit that, as the leaders speak as directed by the Spirit, and it was mostly my attitude that inhibited my ability to enjoy their messages. The messages were replete with "we can be doing better" and "do a little more" and "stretch yourself outside your comfort zone". And I sunk down in my chair, feeling more indignant than inspired. It's just that I feel stretched so many different ways. It's just that I feel that I am giving my very best . And right now, I don't know if I know how to do better. How do I be a better Mom, a better wife, a better employee, a better follower of Christ, a better sharer of His gospel? How do I add one more thing to my to do list, even though I know it should be on the list? How do I imp...
1 comment
Read more