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Misunderstanding Church

A couple years ago I read something from my Facebook feed. The author wrote a statement about how he or she felt about being in the church. While it bothered me, I couldn't really put my finger on why. But who am I to argue with how someone feels? I can't recall ever hearing the statement before then, but the same phrase has been increasingly mentioned in various posts written by Latter Day Saints since. In the past few days alone I have read multiple articles, essays or blog posts that have all used or mentioned the same sentiment.

"Maybe this church isn't the place for me."

I talked to my husband a lot one night after I had read several such articles. I voiced my concerns about the people who feel this way, and about the people who make people feel this way, and about our children in the challenges they may face in this regard. So, a couple years later, I have finally been able to verbalize what I wish I could say to that original author and anyone who feels the same.



This is a valid, honest reflection of your church experience. I know that, and I wish wholeheartedly I could make you feel more like you belong each Sunday. I wish we could sit next to each other and laugh off the well meaning (and sometimes just plain rude) ignorance of some of the other people in the pews. The fact that you do not feel welcome is a problem. One that is heartbreaking for the Lord. Your emotion and pain is valid and real and I would never belittle it. But the belief that you do not belong because of what another person has said or done, or even what you have said or done is a huge misunderstanding. Somewhere along the line, this "Mormon culture" has bred a false assumption that there is some "typical Mormon" mold to fit into. And if life choices or struggles or talents don't fit the perceived mold, people start to wonder why they should stay. Now, I've lived 90% of my life in either Idaho, Utah, or Southern Alberta (which essentially is a mini-Utah). So I know how abrasive and pervasive this "Mormon culture" can be to both those within it and those without it. I know there are hurtful comments, misinterpreted principles, and thick headed, human-er than human leaders. But please understand, "Mormon" culture, "Mormon" people are NOT the whole Church. And the Church is NOT the gospel.

And no matter what, YOU belong to the gospel of Jesus Christ.

Because whether you are single, married, widowed or divorced, tattooed from head to toe, have a pornography addiction, believe women should have the priesthood, struggle with or embrace same sex attraction; whether you drink or smoke or can't decide if caffeine is wrong according to the Word of Wisdom; whether you have served a mission, have never served a mission, or have no desire to serve a mission...

YOU are a child of God!

Imperfect, scared, struggling, and weak YOU. Regardless of anything, your Heavenly Father wants so much for YOU to have what He has. He wants YOU to experience the power, the blessings and the unending, unadulterated joy of the everlasting gospel. It is for EVERY person that has ever and will ever live on the face of the earth. Every single one of us was personally, lovingly considered by our Heavenly Father while creating the gospel plan. It is the means to happiness now and in eternity. It is the single means to real, lasting, unmeasured happiness.

The gospel. Not the Church. The only reason the Church even exists is because of the gospel.

While Jesus was on the earth, He spoke of "living water". Water that if partaken would be "a well of water springing up into everlasting life." (John 4) It is a perfect analogy to me. There is no life without water. We need daily amounts of it to live. The gospel is our spiritual water. And in order for us to partake, the Lord has given us the design to form a cup: His Church. But how do mortals create something of an immortal pattern? Well, with mortal tools and mortal resources, they do so to the best of their ability, remembering that only under divine decree do they undertake such an endeavor. The Church, though celestially appointed and God-like in blueprint, has some pretty imperfect caretakers. Never has any one Cup been handled by so many well meaning but irresponsible hands. That Cup has been scratched and dented, washed and polished, worn down and even lost for several hundred years. But now the Lord has given it back, bottomless and overflowing, because His children need that life giving water to re-enter his presence. And I can only imagine how much He wants every one of us to return.

Can you see what I'm trying to say? The misunderstanding is that Church is not the place for you, but only because the Church is NOT a place. It is a vessel. The Lord knew that there would be those of us who would get splinters when drinking from the Cup. He still declared it as the only way to get the water. Remember, "ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith." (Ether 12:6) It seems sometimes that trial will be the Church itself-how it's structured, how it's governed, even the members that are part of it, and the "culture" they tend to form. But that doesn't mean that what it holds was not individually, divinely purposed for you and for me. The Church contains the everlasting gospel: ordinances, covenants and principles that are needed in their entirety for the salvation and exaltation of EVERY child of God. All we have to do is partake. We do so by making and keeping the sacred covenants He has asked us to. Then we can gain the witness of our place in His family, in His gospel, and yes, as part of His Church. Ignore the pedestals where supposed 'typical Mormons' are placed. Ignore the whispers that would remove you from arm's reach of something so pure and holy and everlastingly good. Please stop thinking that this Church is not the place for you.

Because God has a place for you.

Just do the best that you know how. Live close to His Spirit so your understanding will be continually enlightened. Do not give merit to another person's judgement as to where you are on the path back Home. But do not make excuses for your choices; choose what is right and try again when you don't. Move forward with the knowledge that YOU are HIS and nothing you or anyone else does will EVER change that.

Just please, do not put down the water because the cup scratches your lips.

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