We had Stake (or a regional) Conference at church last weekend. I generally love these conferences. But that weekend I found the exhortation to be better exhausted me more than it should have. I feel a little ashamed to even admit that, as the leaders speak as directed by the Spirit, and it was mostly my attitude that inhibited my ability to enjoy their messages.
The messages were replete with "we can be doing better" and "do a little more" and "stretch yourself outside your comfort zone".
And I sunk down in my chair, feeling more indignant than inspired.
It's just that I feel stretched so many different ways. It's just that I feel that I am giving my very best. And right now, I don't know if I know how to do better. How do I be a better Mom, a better wife, a better employee, a better follower of Christ, a better sharer of His gospel? How do I add one more thing to my to do list, even though I know it should be on the list? How do I improve on my best efforts when I am currently maxed out on patience, energy, and time?
And there I sat: feeling a little inadequate about the good I do try to put forward, wondering if it's really enough, feeling like I'm being asked to run a marathon when I'm just getting good at running a mile.
I was flipping pages in my notebook, and a note from a previous Conference caught my eye.
"A saint is just a sinner who keeps trying."
Well.
God speaks to us in so many different ways, doesn't He?
My indignant spirit melted a little bit after that. Because darn it, I am trying. And I know He knows it. But more than that, He knows the ways I can still be better. (There are more of those than I'm aware, I'm sure). I know He'll give me the strength and increase my capacity to do it. The reminder that He doesn't ask me to run faster than I have strength, that He doesn't even ask me to keep running, was just what I needed. He just asks me to always move forward.
A Saint is just a sinner who keeps trying.
Coming to God is not about perfection but about perfecting. So He asks me to keep trying. And that is something I can do. I don't know if I qualify as a Saint, but I can always be a sinner who keeps trying.
The messages were replete with "we can be doing better" and "do a little more" and "stretch yourself outside your comfort zone".
And I sunk down in my chair, feeling more indignant than inspired.
It's just that I feel stretched so many different ways. It's just that I feel that I am giving my very best. And right now, I don't know if I know how to do better. How do I be a better Mom, a better wife, a better employee, a better follower of Christ, a better sharer of His gospel? How do I add one more thing to my to do list, even though I know it should be on the list? How do I improve on my best efforts when I am currently maxed out on patience, energy, and time?
And there I sat: feeling a little inadequate about the good I do try to put forward, wondering if it's really enough, feeling like I'm being asked to run a marathon when I'm just getting good at running a mile.
I was flipping pages in my notebook, and a note from a previous Conference caught my eye.
"A saint is just a sinner who keeps trying."
Well.
God speaks to us in so many different ways, doesn't He?
My indignant spirit melted a little bit after that. Because darn it, I am trying. And I know He knows it. But more than that, He knows the ways I can still be better. (There are more of those than I'm aware, I'm sure). I know He'll give me the strength and increase my capacity to do it. The reminder that He doesn't ask me to run faster than I have strength, that He doesn't even ask me to keep running, was just what I needed. He just asks me to always move forward.
A Saint is just a sinner who keeps trying.
Coming to God is not about perfection but about perfecting. So He asks me to keep trying. And that is something I can do. I don't know if I qualify as a Saint, but I can always be a sinner who keeps trying.
We all feel inadequate at times, and we all are trying to do better, this is why we have GOD to help us. Jesus is always there and we may be sinners but this is the reason HE died for us and the forgiveness of our sins. Doing better is the process we go through to get there.
ReplyDeleteI count my blessings that we have our people in church to help also. I get lost sometimes as to what I should be doing, and I know I can ask for help. I thank you for your blog, I still learn so much from you.
Happy Easter to all of you.