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Believing in Miracles

"Believe in miracles. I have seen so many of them come when every indication would say hope is lost. Hope is never lost. If those miracles do not come soon or fully or seemingly at all, remember the Savior's own anguished example: if the bitter cup does not pass, drink it and be strong, trusting in happier days ahead."
-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland-



In recent months I've been praying for a specific miracle. There is so much to say about miracles: the ones that come, the ones that don't, and the One who is in control in either instance. Unless I'm looking it can be almost impossible to recognize the hand of God amidst the turbulence of daily living. It can be exhausting that even as I'm watching and praying fervently, the miracles I yearn for ultimately slip away. But I am also part of a family who has been remarkably and undeniably blessed with miracles. And there are just no words for the moments for when we have witnessed divine blessing.

The the car accidents we should not have survived.
The stepdad who blessed our lives.
The anonymous (and not anonymous) persons who blessed us when there was too much month at the end of the money.
The health that has been restored.
The beautiful children.
The bills that got paid when it was all we could do to pay tithing first.
Even the simple things like the car keys that we were able to finally find after a seemingly fruitless hour long search at the bottom of a silty lake.

Miracles.

But even with these miracles (and the many I have not mentioned), the miracles that were "absent" are of equal importance to mention. Because they hurt. But they stop me from taking for granted. Because they are unforgettable. But they remind me of the strength that is formed in adversity. They are the miracles that don't come "soon or fully or seemingly at all".

The accidents that did end in death.
The marriage(s) that fell apart.
The babies that were lost.
The babies that have yet to be, the ones that may not ever be.
The jobs that didn't work out.
The bills that didn't get paid.
The sicknesses that challenged and won.
The tears that still fell when we prayed for happiness, peace and relief.

Each one of the miracles I have experienced was preceded by one or more of the absent ones. I'm very familiar the miracles that never were. I'm very familiar with the desires of my heart that went despairingly unanswered. But in spite of my anger and heartbreak, in spite of the moments when I question the judgement of a God who denies me a righteous desire, who denies the forbearance of a tragedy, I cannot forget the miracles I have seen. I cannot forget the prayers He has answered. I cannot ignore the times when things have worked out better than I could have known they would-even after devastation. He is God. He is faithful. He never denies unless He has in store something infinitely greater than what I had in mind. And honestly, in my better moments, I doubt He ever really denies. He only gives. He gives in a capacity greater than my mortal mind can comprehend.

I'm sure I have experienced miracles because I have also been given the blessing and heartache of "no miracle". And I believe I've experienced no miracle because Heavenly Father wants me to know the power and joy and "happier days ahead" when a miracle arrives. So I keep trusting in the miracles that are here and the ones yet to come. Because He knows the plans that He has for you and I, even if we don't. Hope is never lost.

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