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In Your Mind and In Your Heart

Every time I read the Book of Mormon I learn something (or several somethings) that is applicable in a whole new way. Having recently started reading it again, I experienced one of those learning moments within the first few chapters in the story of Nephi. Nephi's writings are well known to me because I have read them multiple times. But I am always amazed when I can learn something new from something so familiar. I'm grateful for the Spirit of God which testifies of truths in small, quiet, and unexpected moments. Over the past few years I've been taught such sweet lessons from Nephi in this way that he has become one of my favourite scriptural prophets.

In this story (and I've summarized), Nephi is trying to do as the Lord commanded and acquire the plates of brass from Laban. The plates of brass are the scriptural record which also contains their genealogy, and Laban is the wicked man who has them in his possession. Twice Nephi, with his three brothers, has tried to convince Laban to relinquish the record. Twice they are chased out by servants ordered to kill them. Because their initial attempts are unsuccessful, two of Nephi's brothers begin to murmur, complain, and doubt. Nephi admonishes them, and because of his faith and willingness to obey, goes back into the city after dark and "was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do." As he nears Laban's house he sees Laban on the ground, passed out, drunk. Nephi notices Laban's sword next to him. He begins to admire its "exceedingly fine" workmanship, and in that moment is constrained by the Spirit to kill Laban.

In his own words he says,

"But I said in my heart; Never at any time have I shed the blood of man. And I shrunk and would that I might not slay him."

The Spirit again tells him, "Behold the Lord hath delivered him into thy hands."And Nephi thinks to himself, "Yea, and I also knew that he had sought to take away mine own life, yea, and he would not hearken unto the commandments of the Lord; and he also had taken away our property."

The Spirit said again: "Slay him, for the Lord hath delivered him into thy hands; Behold the Lord slayeth the wicked to bring forth his righteous purposes. It is better that one man should perish, than that a nation should dwindle and perish in unbelief."

By this time Nephi had begun to open his mind as he tried to reconcile what he should do. He says, "When I, Nephi, had heard these words, I remembered the words of the Lord which he spake unto me in the wilderness, saying that: Inasmuch as thy seed shall keep my commandments, they shall prosper in the land of promise. Yea, and I also thought that they could not keep the commandments of the Lord according to the law of Moses, save they should have the law. And I also knew that the law was engraven upon the plates of brass. And again, I knew that the Lord had delivered Laban into my hands for this cause-that I might obtain the records according to his commandments." (You can read this story here: 1 Nephi 4: 1-18)

So this is the part that I found interesting. While reading, I remembered a scripture (Doctrine and Covenants 8:2), where the Lord says, "I will tell you in your mind and in your heart, by the Holy Ghost, which shall come upon you and which shall dwell in your heart."

In your mind and in your heart. Nephi exemplifies this doctrine beautifully in this moment.

At the instruction to slay Laban, Nephi's heart and his mind are in turmoil. The first expressed desire of his heart is to disobey, that is, to not kill a man. Interestingly, his emotional revulsion stems from a lifetime of following the Law of Moses. In other words, his desire to disobey stems from a lifetime of righteousness and obedience to the word of God. To kill Laban would be in direct opposition to everything he has ever thought and believed. His abhorrence, shock, and righteous heart strongly compel him to not end the life of another human being.

But, in his characteristic faith, and in spite of the feelings of his heart, Nephi allows the Spirit to work in his mind also. He knows that 'thou shalt not kill' is a divine commandment. However, he also knows the importance of continued obedience to the One who issued that command in the first place, even if (and can I say, especially when) it appears contradictory. Nephi is tested in this crucial moment-whether he will resist the Spirit and follow the word of God as it is written and as he has always known it, or whether he will trust God and accept new revelation at His hand.

This test, this interplay between mind and heart is one of the biggest challenges for the followers of Christ today. We do not like change. When our hearts and minds are comfortable, we tend to resist anything that upsets the balance, especially when it messes with our understanding of morality. But the truth is this: A prophet of God is on the earth. Jesus Christ leads His church through this prophet, just as He did anciently. Now, occasionally the prophet reveals that which may contradict political, personal, or even religious views. But this has ever been so.

Our hearts (or maybe even our minds) may recoil initially at seemingly new or changed doctrine or church policy from the mouth of the prophet. It has ever been so.

Even Nephi, the son of a prophet, and eventually a prophet himself "shrunk, and would that I might not" comply. So when our hearts shrink, when our minds cannot comprehend continuing revelation, remember that it has ever been so.

Nephi taught me that I am not always going to instantly feel at peace with everything the prophet reveals, or everything the spirit prompts, even when I am living righteously and obediently. In fact, Nephi shows that it is not an unprecedented experience for righteous, covenant keeping members of the church to feel at odds with new revelation. It might even be my continuous obedience to the commandments that may cause me to struggle with new ones. The Lord is aware that continued learning is not always easy, so He revealed a way to know truth in spite of discomfort. "I will tell you in your mind and in your heart." Logic and reason, with feelings and emotions are meant to work in tandem with each other, not independent of each other. If I were to rely only on my personal emotional or intellectual reflexes as guidelines, I would deceive myself often. When mind and heart come together through the Spirit, true knowledge is the result. It is a process which takes time.

This is why I especially enjoyed seeing the discourse between Nephi's heart and his mind this time. It took one verse (a mere two sentences) for Nephi to react. But it took five verses for him to outline how he came to understand the Lord. Could it be, that like Nephi, my understanding may take five (or fifty) times longer to come to fruition than my initial gut reaction? Could it be that I can still be faithful and not know instantaneously the validity of a commandment or revelation or spiritual prompting? I believe so. Because Nephi allowed Him to, the Lord was able to speak peace to his mind, which then brought peace to his original adamantly opposed heart. Nephi could then fully exercise his faith, obey the Lord, and continue to bring to pass much righteousness.

"I will tell you in your mind and in your heart."

All I have to do, is like Nephi, learn to listen.

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