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I Am A Terrible Parent

It's true. At least, if sources are to be believed, it must be true. Being fairly new to this parenting arena, I had no idea how many awful and child-ruining mistakes I've been making. And boy there are some whoppers. I should be surprised that my kids are as normal as they are. Three years in, and now that I've recognized some of these mistakes, I can start fixin' 'em.

According to my research, odds are you're a terrible parent too. But no worries, I'm here to help. Using articles I've read (some reputable, some....not as much) books, discussions, anecdotal evidence and social media campaigns, I've compiled a list of the most common mistakes a terrible parent makes, and the (not so) sure-fire ways to fix them. Here you go.

You are a terrible parent if:

1. You let your babies cry themselves to sleep. Everybody knows that every time your child is crying, she needs your undivided attention. Deny her that attention and you are setting her up for all kinds of emotional attachment and sleep issues later in life. Not to mention the undue levels of stress hormones that you are now allowing to rise in her bloodstream.

The solution: Stop. Now. Never let her 'Cry It Out' again.

2. You don't let your babies cry. By running to him every time he cries, you're spoiling him irreversibly, encouraging an entitled, selfish attitude in your child, and likely will have years of interrupted night time sleep. He will never learn to face the world and his problems by himself with you continually coddling him like that. Clearly.

The solution: Let him cry it out. For as long as it takes.

3. You vaccinate your kids. All the research and time tested proof that vaccines can prevent and have eradicated some diseases completely is just a conspiracy by "Big Pharma" companies to make money. Not only are you injecting your child with an awful disease, you're pumping unforgivable amounts of mercury, formeldahyde, and thimerasol into their tiny bodies, causing autism and a multitude of other nasty side effects.

The solution: Never bring them near a needle again.

4. You don't vaccinate your kids. You're one of those 'naturalists', aren't you? How can you not trust the science that is the reason we are where we are today? We know so much, there's almost nothing left to learn about how to prevent and fight disease. Natural methods don't work unless it's a result of the 'placebo effect'. All you're doing is disrupting 'herd immunity' and putting your kids and multiple other people at risk of fatal illness in order to avoid minor side effects.

The solution: Go immunize them today!

5. You co-sleep. Well...so...uh....how does that affect your sex life? And aren't you worried about accidentally smothering your child? What about the increased SIDS? Wouldn't it just be safer for your child if he had his own room?

The solution: Get him his own room.

6. You don't co-sleep. How does your child even sleep at night? How could you deprive her of the added benefits of physical contact at night? Aren't nighttime feedings extra rough?

The solution: Keep her in your room.

7. You breastfeed. And while this doesn't make you a terrible parent, it sure makes you an indecent human being. How could you even think of doing something so natural in such a public place? Or for so long? You should probably just stay under house arrest until you decide to wean, or maybe just wean early so you don't make anyone else uncomfortable.

The solution: Use formula.

8. You use formula. Congratulations, you are denying your child of her best and most natural food and immune source. Didn't you see the "Risks of Formula Feeding" video in the hospital? You're setting her up  for all kinds of health issues in the future. You don't love your child nearly as much if you formula feed, because you couldn't possibly have bonded as well with her during those bottle feedings. And if breastfeeding just didn't work, you obviously didn't try hard enough. Better fix that next time around.

The solution: Breastfeed.

9. You work outside the home. Full time, part time, it doesn't matter, how could you even let someone else raise your child? Wait, you enjoy it too? You must not like your kids very much if you won't stay home with them. Either that, or you just don't have the faith that God will provide for you if you're stay home where you should be, with your kids.

The solution: Stay home.

10. You're a stay at home mom. Again, you're not a terrible parent, just a complete waste of skin, education, and potential. That's nice that you don't 'need' to work. But couldn't everybody use more money? Plus you're just taking the easy way out just letting someone else support you while you cook and clean and care for those tiny, snot encrusted humans.

The solution: Put that laundry basket down and go get a real job that actually challenges you!

Anybody else notice how it's impossible to be anything but a terrible parent these days? No matter what I do, I'm doing something wrong according to an expert, a fellow church-goer, a neighbor, or some writer who thinks they have life's answers. But I suppose I'm not the only one. Are you terrible like me? Or maybe terrible in a different way?

Well, sweet lady, I'd like to pat you on the back, because at least in your terribleness, you're pro-actively trying. You're doing the best you can do, and I'd like to celebrate our mutual parental terribleness together.

Let's just throw the 'Babywise parent', 'Helicopter parent', 'Attachment parent' 'Natural parent', 'Love and Logic parent' labels out the window. We're on a journey with some extremely exhausting and wonderful, messy and beautiful, time consuming and precious beings here. We're guiding them from childhood into some form of responsible, trustworthy, hard-working adulthood. And it isn't easy. And there's no one right way to do it.

So whether you home-school, use allowance, pay for their college, use only organic food, have 2 or 12 kids, discipline without spanking, or use cloth diapers, you're still trying. As long as you're trying to get them there, it's gonna be enough. Because, they are wonderful, beautiful, progeny of divinity. And you're doing something right.

Even if there are no right answers.

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