All my life I've been surrounded by women. Wonderful, strong, and just as human as I am women. These women have taught me, strengthened me, laughed with me, cried with me, and at times disappointed me, only to come back and teach me through that too. I mention that because suddenly I'm one of those women. The one that is in a position to mold and form and teach and worry about messing it all up. I think about the daughter I have, and the ones that still may come. Through my effort and tears and prayer for them, I am coming to understand how much more effort and tears and prayer have gone into me than I ever knew, than I ever could have imagined I was worth. It'll be a while yet before that daughter of mine discovers this about herself.
I think about all I want her to know; (there's so much I want her to know), and then think, 'how do I teach it? How do I know I'm not messing it up?' I wish I could just plug her in to my brain and upload what I know, the lessons I've learned, the truths that shape me. But then that wouldn't be motherhood. And as President Packer so beautifully stated this last General Conference, there are 'things which cannot be taught, but can be learned.' I have too few years to teach her what I can. Then she'll branch out on her own and I'll hope and pray I've prepared her enough to learn the rest. But I know if I can remember the important things, she'll have the capabilities to make up for my inadequacies as a teacher.
So here's to my daughters: some of the important things I think will make all the difference in their lives, (and my boys, obviously, although this is geared towards my girls) and isn't it important that I, as a daughter, remember them too?
1. You are a daughter of God. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. And never forget what that means. It means that you have unlimited potential. You have the power, the faith, the divine help to conquer the inevitable obstacles of this life. It means you will have to work to develop the qualities that have been given you, and even the ones that you don't think you have. It means you are important in a way you won't completely understand. You'll have to take it on faith. It means you are loved more than you will ever comprehend. And there'll be times when you have to take that on faith. It means you have a divine nature, a divine role that is specifically yours. It means you have a work to do, specifically related to who you are and who you have the potential to become. It means you will face much adversity from one who would have you never come to a realization of your divine origin. It means you will make mistakes that will shape, shame, and may hurt you, but nothing will never change your worth. Nothing will ever change who you are. Because you are a daughter of God.
2. Jesus Christ is your Savior. Let's learn about His birth, His life, His ministry, His death, and most importantly, His atonement and resurrection. It's beautiful and wonderful and a testimony of Him is the greatest knowledge you will ever acquire. Because He atoned for you, you can repent, you can change, you can become more like Him, you can draw nearer to God. Even if you slip and fall or choose not to believe in Him or His words. And one day you can be resurrected and have can eternal life. Without Him, nothing matters. But with Him, everything has purpose. He gives reason and direction to this mortal experience. Let's come to know Him together, not just as a compilation of stories, but as Someone who has an active hand in your life. And He will change your life.
3. Your actions have consequences; some are desirable, and others are not. But they are all unavoidable. And if at times you don't understand completely what I'm doing or why, it's only because I'm trying to teach you this through your God-given ability to choose. And the reason is, I don't want you to be happy. Happiness is fleeting, and it's subjective to the person experiencing it. No, instead of happiness, I want to give you the gift of knowing joy and peace. Too many people think that if they can get something for nothing they will be happy. They are selfish and make choices selfishly. And so long as they do, they will never find peace. I hope you develop the courage to make choices for yourself, no matter what those choices are. I just hope I can give you the knowledge that the use of your agency will affect not only your present happiness, but your future joy. And because I want you to have joy, we might not always see eye to eye. As a child, you think you want to be happy. But as a mother, I want to show you that there's so much more than that.
4. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude. It is so easy to lament the things you don't have. But you will only ever be miserable, and oh so arrogant, if you give into that temptation. Be grateful for what you do have. You have been given so much, I already know. Your body is beautiful. You are talented. You have and will continue to have wonderful opportunities and experiences. You have a place to live, and food to eat, a pillow at night, a hot shower in the morning. Baby, you are more blessed than half the world. Don't pine over everyone else's life as it appears over Facebook or Instagram (or whatever the popular social media is in 10-15 years). 'No misfortune is so bad, whining about it won't make it worse.' Once you realize all the things you have been given, how could you ever feel you don't have enough without rejecting in part the very God who has blessed you so abundantly?
5. Life is not easy. The sooner you accept that, the better. You've grown up in a world where almost everything is instant. Microwaves, high-speed internet, texting, credit cards, email, drive thrus...all give off the illusion that you can have everything now for minimal effort. But the Lord does not work that way, and so neither will your life. Learn patience. Work hard. Persist. Keep the faith. Know that you won't always succeed, and you won't always be blessed how you feel you should. Then you will be expected to stand up, dust off, and try again. 'If life were easy, it wouldn't be hard.' And if it weren't hard, you wouldn't progress. Trust in the Lord's plan. He can make more out of you than you could ever make out of yourself.
6. My sweet daughter, learn to love being you. I want you to know that you do not need a man to be of value or significance. I want you to know that it is better to be single than to marry out of fear of forever being single and lonely. I don't want you to settle for fear that a better opportunity will never come along. I don't want you to believe that you can, (or should be the one to) change him. If he isn't already trying to do and be what he should for himself, he's not going to do it for you. Find a man who is striving, before he even meets you, to be the best that he can. Because you should be doing the same. And you have every right to expect the best from the one you will give your heart, your life, and your eternity to.
7. I also want you to know that being a wife and mother are the most important roles you will ever fill. Regardless of what society, culture, media, or your best friend say. Don't listen to the lies about being 'just' a wife or 'just' a mom. You will shape the world in a way that nothing else can. You will be made more complete through your efforts in these God given callings. And no matter what happens in this life, the Lord will bless you with the chance to fulfill those sacred roles.
8. If you know nothing else, I want you to know this. No matter what you do, (this includes anything and everything) no matter where you go, no matter what happens, no matter when, no matter what else you may think or feel or doubt; know that I love you with all of my heart. And that will never change.
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